dit school reopens. kidda okay. but i keep on sleeping in class lah. sian zi pua. sorry cant help it lah. too tired and class very boring. i wonder whats the reason. i can actually sleep in school but i cant sleep at home. weird hur. wells, contented with my level in maple now; although i still want it higher. i think i can some sort of quit it now? i almost break down yesterday. but i held back my tears... stressed? not sure too. studies, family, tests and blahs. everyday only know how to shout and scream and scold me vulgar languages. cmon just shut up lah. you don't have the rights to scold me, asshole. ren[3] yi[4] shi[2] feng[1] ping[2] lang[4] jing[4], tui[4] yi[2] bu[4] hai[3] kuo[4] tian[1] kong[1]. i'll just tolerate with you. sometimes being ignorant is good than knowing the truth which will make you hurt in the end - i want to see no evil; hear no evil and speak no evil. i'll just pretend that im deaf and i can't even hear a single shit. yes i know i cant do anything to you. so whatever you want to do on me, just do it. i just don't even give a damn. im not going to become a robot again. neither a zombie too. im adamant as i've promised not to do what i should not do for you. i shan't break the promise i've made to myself as i've vowed. it does not worth it! i know its a good process for me to learn how to stand up and walk again when i fall down. i know i just cant stand it anymore lahs. maybe i should sit on it? and im not your puppet. thanks a lot. looks are deceiving - yes i agree. please don't pretend to look like innocent flowers on the surface and be like serpents beneath. but i shall tolerate. about 547 days i'll leave and you'll leave. automatically. the memories etched will be diminished and disappear into the ends of the world. your promises are all plainly white lies and have turned into dust. yes good white lies. all fake. yes and im awaiting for that day to arrive. and i know that i will grow new wings on that fine day as there will be more things for me to do then staying in this position not knowing what to do - blur; hurt; confused. i loathe all of this. if you can; if i can, pls get out; and i hope i can get out too. cant everyone just take a step back and give everyone a chance? is that really really so darn difficult to do? okays. off to tuition lerhs. sianz.

uh oh.. i guess my temperature did not actually subside afterall. in fact its getting higher and higher and higher. Lolx! hahas. (: i still dunno why i feel so ecstatic even though im sick and having a burning forehead now. maybe i guess the fever has actually burned all my brain cells away. XD


oh yah. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHYLLIS! ((:

18 june - sunday.
my whole family went to eat lunch at chinatown. my mother bought a schoolbag for me le! weee! finally. the bag im currently using kidda a lil spolit and summore that bag is passed from my bro to me lahs. so unfair ryte? hahas. i want the black + grey coloured bag. but the price is totally overwhelming. $75! haix. so cant buy that. so mother bought another bag, light-blue in colour for me. yeap. and got offer also lahs. not bad-looking thou. hahas. (:

19 june - monday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOATYNG! ((:
i went to cut my hair together with my sister and brother in the morning. yup. after that i went home and took the present and chinese compo thing and went to boatyng's house. wait the bus to arrive till i almost sleep. zzzzz. i took bus 158. actually i was afraid that the bus probably nvr stop on the destination i want it to stop at. but fortunately, i took the correct bus! Lolx. lame can. den reached her house. went into the lift. some "di siao" people went to click all of the buttons in the lift. so i have to use the staircase! i thot boatyng's house was on the 4th floor. so i climbed up to the 4th floor and realise that not her hse. den went up to 5th, den finally 6th. phew! i was panting like a dog when i reached. thus i called her. den she was like somewhat shock or sth. she kept on saying, "what am i up to?". den i told her to open her door and just hung up the phone. when she open the door, she was shocked again lah! haha! dun worry lah. i nvr go your house to abduct you. Lolx! hope you like the present lah hor? (: must really save money when school reopens. no more recesses and lunches for me. i went pq-ing in maple at night with a bunch of my friends. wah! so fun lo! first time pq-ing in ludibrium mah. so dun say i goon or whatsoever okay? x) pq till the wee hours around 1am. Lolx. fun fun! must go pq next time again!

20 june - tuesday [today]
i woke up feeling hot and cold. my forehead and neck felt hot while my legs felt cold. feeling so nippy lah. went to take my temperature; 38.1 degrees. wahaha! got fever liao le. no wonder i feel so so so uncomfortable. got a terrible headache. felt so damn hot. vomitted 2 times. i just ate around 5 spoonful of porridge and i vomitted all out. T.T took my temperature again. i was higher this time, 38.3 degrees. i ate 2 strong panadols to "cure" my headache and went back to sleep. my mother placed a cold towel over my forehead. hmm. now i feel alrights le. (:


` i cant imagine a world without music. (:

30 minutes, a blink of an eye.
30 minutes to alter our lives.
30 minutes to make up my mind.
30 minutes to finally decide.

30 minutes to whisper your name.
30 minutes to shoulder the blame.
30 minutes of bliss, thirty lies.
30 minutes to finally decide.

--

i do not wish to become like a clown. to treat laughing as its job. to laugh when im happy. to laugh even when im sad. its a tragic situation. life is certainly and definitely not smooth-sailing. oneself would definitely meet any difficulties and stuffs. but no matter what, when a clown get on stage, he/she has to make the audience laugh. and him/herself had to laugh in order to make the audience laugh. if he/she shed a tear, their job will be lost. being a clown is the worst job in the whole world. so ar huh.

today is indeed a really fun day. yeap. shan't brood so much about it. just wanna wish tuckheng happy birthday and hope you like all the presents. ((:


idontlikegoingoutinbiggroups. whenweareseparatedandheadbacktoourrespectivehouses, myheartfeltsodamnempty. ihatethisfeeling. ihatebeingabandoned. justleavemealone.

okay. im done with all the presents. no more recesses and lunches for me when school reopens. im really totally broke from head to toe. thank you. i shall not talk much further. let the pictures do the talking. (:

darn. june hols so boring. i've got nothing to do yea. i wonder how can i survive. its only the second week of the june hols. i rather go back to school. lOl. at least i got smth to do lahs. not like now. awww. so boring. boring boring. my hair are all dropping off. scratching my hair scab every now and then to think what to do next. hahas. im so sianded lahhs. maple = sian. computer = sian. homework = double sian. teevee = o.O. afternoon teevee shows not nice. i prefer watching night teevee shows. especially da chang jin. yeah! (: sad. da chang jin ending soon. nvm. my mother going to lend da chang jin CDs from aunt to watch during the december holidays. woo hoo. hurhur. x)

i wish i could be like chang jin. like her adamant spirit, and her 'never say die' attitude. hmmm. ponder, ponder and ponder. HAHA! (:

just now was so sian till i went off roaming around friendster. yupps and i went to sheena's friendster, link to khim's friendster. oh then went to khim's blog. and omg!! i found zhiyang's blog. wah i was ecstatic lahs. went off reading some of his entries. haix yup and i miss css too. okay lah. go off liao. bye. x)


if you believe, you will see the green light of happiness.

hahas. finally changed my blogskin. find this simple and nice. and smiles everywhere! (: yesterday went back to school to take back the results slip. okay. i shan't talk about my results, it'll dampen my spirit. hahas. went to suntec city right after collecting the results with my mother and lil brother. [yea indeed, lil!] i only realise till now that suntec city is soooooo BIG! its really very big. when i was there, i was like, WOW! got hall 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. we walked till we almost went lost. hahas. yup. went shopping at carrefour. then went to the book fair. yeap and i saw jiaqin there. hahas. she told me the day b4 results day that her mom will bring her to book fair after taking back results in maple. and she said skully is in the same place. well well, its the same place!! hahas. was kidda surprised. hahas. (:

went to marina square after "shopping" in book fair. well, i saw wanjie, kitying and elis there. wow. so many people went shopping in marina? hahas. marina square was big. and it was endless shopping and sight-seeing ehh? my mother was like kidda bored and kept on saying there's nth much in marina square. well, i don't find it that way. some shops captivated me but my mother wasn't interested and we had to continue walked on. i was so frustrated as she say she wanted to go back to suntec city and blahs. so went back to suntec city lo. what can i do? i need, no, want to go back to marina square to shop again during the june hols with my friends. yeah. okay. im adamant; nth can change my mind yea? (:

okays. its kidda late now. blog another time. bye! c(: