c`mon. i just want freedom. freedom. FREEDOM! thats all i want. its not difficult at all. isn't it? can't i just have it? its not like my wings have grown tougher and i want to fly. its not. ITS NOT!! i just want to have some time playing the computer. is that very difficult huh? very difficult isit? exams are over and can't i have the whole day or even half a day to play the computer? then what u want me to do? stare infront of my books and study?? and stop setting a curfew on me that i can't even play the computer. and stop being so biased against me. even though u don't want brother to play, so that doesn't mean that i can't play rite? doesn't mean that brother score so damn egregious results in his MYE, and i can't play the computer right? its none of my business so why do you want to drag me down to the water huh? i know in the three of us, you hate me a lot or damn biased against me. whatever you want to say or think lah. and so what. so what if i did very badly in my exams? so u think if i don't play the computer den my results will turn into distinctions? so u think if i don't play the computer den the time will turn back to the past? and i've already done my best and what do you want? maybe u think that i did not done my best and i've slack a lot. but i tell you here. i've already done my best. and its only sec three mid year. there's still a lot more tests to go right. still got end year exams right. so can't u just let me play the damn computer for just a damn lil teeny weeny of time? this world requires a lot of encouragement. so can't you just like praise me a lil for at least doing well in some of my subjects than last year, rather den scolding me? even a tiny lil encouragement will boost their courage to do well you know? even if i score well, get scolded; score badly, get scolded. so what do you want? not happy just say. no need everyday nag and scold and whatever craps. other parents are so damn understanding can. they still let their children to play even though they score badly in their results. so where are you not happy with me? not satisfied with what? let brother play don't let me play. his results are so much ten thousand more worse den mine. cmon just get lost lah. im so damn angry and so upset. tears wet my eyes.. one day i will run off and never come back again. even more better, i will run to the main road; get knocked down by a car; die and never ever come back this pathetic sucking family. haix.

got back my mid year results today. so damn sucky. i failed all three of the pure sciences, chemistry; physics; biology. no more hope anymore. i studied so hard even till the wee hours like 2am and i still scored such egregious results. i deproved my chinese a lot. i was damn disappointed. humanities is a total shyt and rubbish. hah. so ironically passed both elementary and additional maths. im now thinking. so why are we studying? why are we studying so hard? are we going to be like a biologist, chemist or weather forecaster? no right. so why are we studying so hard here. its like a waste of time. you can like grow up and be an artiste or singer or painter and need not know the knowledge of what you've learnt right? haix. whatever lah. so damn depressed. nothing can bright up my life lah.